one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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