it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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