Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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