Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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