bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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