i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
