apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
