Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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