I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
