I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
