I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
