The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
