I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
