i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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