he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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