yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
