his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
