I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is it penis luge time yet?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
