He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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