So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
