you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
