Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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