If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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