just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
