Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
