Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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