Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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