we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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