She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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