That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
