Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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