i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
