porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
home. puking in laundry basket.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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