erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Randomize
