Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
