I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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