i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
