i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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