have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
