idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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