There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
