it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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