Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
