The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
