Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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