I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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