she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
