Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
