South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
