piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
