But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
